Vamos al Piscina con la Familia Bravo
Thea and I are very lucky to be living with the Bravo family. The mother, Maria Dolores, is usually the only person we interact with, but she is incredibly nice. We don’t know exactly how old she is (it’s rude to ask a woman that), but we guess she is in her mid 50’s to late 60’s. She works in a salon in the city, about 15 minutes from the apartment. Her husband Oswaldo is a retired teacher that now lives in the country. She has two children, a son David who is 25 years old, and a daughter who is a few years older than him. David lives in the apartment, but is not home very often because he is studying to work in tourism and also has a job in the city. Her daughter is married and lives in the country with Oswaldo and her family. For the most part we communicate with Maria in Spanish, even if it is broken and wrong at times. Occasionally gestures and sound effects are used, and circumlocution is often used to find the right word.
Within our host family I see a few differences in the family structure. Maria Dolores doesn’t live with her husband, he lives in the country because he has hearing problems. It was a surprise to me to see that, but I don’t think it is common. The majority of the time it is more collectivism, focusing on family and the importance of caring for others. Maria Dolores asked us about our family and likes to talk about hers. The U.S. also thinks that family is important, but sometimes not to the extent that I see here. They also have a set schedule for things. Maria Dolores has breakfast ready at 7:30 and dinner ready at 7:30. Dinner is usually 3 courses, salad, entree and dessert. In the U.S. many people have hectic schedules and don’t eat at the same time, some don’t even eat breakfast at all. Dinner at home doesn’t usually have 3 courses because it takes too much time. In the U.S. we occasionally have set schedules and fancier dinners, but it is not as structured. At least from the experiences here with Maria Dolores it has been a different experience for me. However, I have a few friends that have a structured plan for meals, so there is a similarity. It all depends on the family it seems.
Today has been the most challenging day for me so far. Thea, Aaron and I went to a pool with our host mom and it was one of the most awkward experiences I have ever had in my life. I usually don't feel very comfortable in a bathing suit on a normal day, but today I felt the stares with more strength than ever before. Even in the changing room, I noticed people looking at us, wondering why two gringos were at their pool. Once we walked out to the pool, every eye was on us. Some stared for the first few minutes, and many of them kept glancing at us throughout the entire hour we spent in the pool. And in the sauna, and in the steam room. It made me feel so uncomfortable to be the outsider getting stares and even an occasional glare. Now we know how it feels to be the outsider, more than just the looks in the streets on a normal day, but to really be the only people that are different. We also learned that in Ecuador, at least at this pool, the normal thing is to wear swim caps and for guys to wear compression shorts. It’s only subtle differences but they have an impact. This experience also made me see that both our cultures see differences in people. We were the outsiders at the pool today, but in the U.S. we do the exact same thing with anyone who is different.
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